Cops VS Gundam Wing.
by Dark Neko Shinigami
Summary: This starts out with Wufei! Plain silliness on my part! Rated for slight language, R&R Onegai!


*I don't own Gundam Wing OR COPS, so there. Don't own nothing.*  
  
  
Theme to COPS begins to play.  
  
"Bad boys, Bad boys, what'a gonna do, what'a gonna do when they come for you.. yadda yadda."  
  
Officer one: Yeah, we got a call from downtown, saying there's some sort of sword welding whacko that's harassing the locals.   
  
Officer two: We get 'em all the time.  
  
Officer one: *Drives slowly along the two lane by pass, recanting his life story of why he wanted to be a cop and how he became a cop*  
  
Camera man: *Takes extreme close up of Officer two's profile, showing stubble and acne*  
  
Officer one: And here we are... *Looks about as his radio garbles crap that you couldn't make out with a teleprompter and a translating device*  
  
Officer two: *Hops out of the car before it stops and draws his weapon on an irate, chinese youth* Put down the weapon and raise your hands!  
  
Wufei: Kisamara! *Gives the cop the finger*  
  
Officer one: *Gets his pepper spray out of his overly large belt* Get down on the ground! Now!  
  
Camera angle wobbles  
  
Wufei: I refuse to weaken myself to such undertrained and overly trigger happy pigs such as yourselves!  
  
Officer two: He called you a pig, Lou.  
  
Officer one: He called you one too, Harry.  
  
Officer two: *goes slightly insane as he lunges towards the asian youth*  
  
Wufei: *Turns and bolts*  
  
The camera angle now goes wobbly, something akin to the terribly familar 'Blair witch project'. Here we see tree trunks in an akward angle, then knee high grass. The chasing officer is panting heavily as he is grossly overweight and in horrid shape. The camera man does all he can to try NOT to pass up the man in blue, but after 15 minutes of lagging behind the cop, he bolts ahead and turns around, running backwards and panning his camera on the red faced, sweating and heavily breathing officer.  
  
Wufei: *Halts midway from climbing a fence and stares at the camera man*  
  
Camera man: *Stares back at Wufei, then shrugs, sending a pointed look to the panting and wheezing cop*  
  
Officer two: Hold it *Pant* right *Pant wheeze* there! Put your *Dry heave, pant cough* hands in the *Pant wheeze wheeze heave cough* air!  
  
Wufei: *Rolls his eyes as he sits atop the fence* Riiiiight. Weakling.  
  
Camera man: I have 80 pounds of camera epuiptment and I still beat the tub of lard up here... *Mutters, then makes a mental note to censor that for tv*  
  
Officer one: *Is being dragged by a rather large german shepard* Halt or I'll turn the dogs loose!  
  
German Shepard: *pulls at the leash, growling and snapping*  
  
Wufei: *Mildly amused, but mostly bored* You only have one dog there...  
  
Officer one: That's beside the point! Put up your hands and lay flat on your stomach!  
  
Camera man: *Takes an extreme close up of Officer two who is still heaving and panting, but now has his trusty can of pepper spray*  
  
Wufei: Do you even *Know* why you are after me?  
  
Officer one: You were disturbing the peace, now do as I say!  
  
Wufei: I was teaching a class!   
  
Officer two: We had calls that you were weilding a sword and acting like a maniac. *Holds his finger on the button of the spray*  
  
Wufei: I was teaching women how to defend themselves against unjust attackers! I have done nothing wrong. *Continues to perch defiantly on the fence, arms folded across his chest*  
  
Officer two: That's it! *Lurches forward and depresses the spray, being the dumb bastard that he is, has the nozzle turned around and gets a healthy does of the evil, vile contents right in the face* MY FACE! IT BURNS! THE PAIN!  
  
Officer one: Assaulting an officer of the law, *Now* your going down, pal!   
  
Wufei: I did nothing of the sort! I was merely sitting on the fence!  
  
Officer one: *Releases the dog*  
  
German shepard: *Promptly turns around and latches onto Officer one's leg, shaking his head viciously, mouth full of standard issue police pants*  
  
Camera man: *Catches this all on tape, stiffling laughter so he won't have to edit out this extremely hilarious shindig*  
  
Wufei: *Watches with mirth shining in his eyes* I'm telling you, if you continue to pursue me, I'm going to sue you for false arrest. I have lawyers you know. Veeeeeery powerful lawyers.  
  
Officer one: *Yelps as he runs in a tight circle, the German shepard continuing to use his leg as a chew toy* Get him off! Get him Off! GETHIMOFFGETHIMOFF!!!  
  
Camera man: *Begins to howl laughter*  
  
The scene changes as the dogs large rear bangs into the camera mans legs, toppling the man over. The next scene is that of a large pink tongue giving the camera a friendly, albeit sloppy, doggy kiss.  
  
Wufei: *Hops from the fence* I'm calling my lawyer..  
  
Officer two: THE PAIN! THE PAIN! *Can be seen holding his face and prancing in a large circle around Officer one, who's pants were ripped off in the fray, but otherwise, is A-OK.*  
  
*End theme of COPS begins to play as once again, garble comes over the radio that you couldn't understand if it were being spoken to you as if you were some kind of slow dimwit or didn't speak good english* 


End file.
